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Have you been called "conceited" or "self-absorbed?" Well.That's probably just the Leo coming out in you. Since Leos (likethe lions for whom they're named) are "strong leaders" with "regal"qualities and a "noble manner," people admire you because you'relooking to change the world and make it a better place. Those arejust a couple of qualities that folks with late summer birthdayscalled their own.

Astrology alert: strong leaders were not all Leos: Martin LutherKing, Jr., a prominent leader in America's civil rights movementarrived on Jan. 15 (Capricorn). And famous presidential leaders?JFK was born May 29 (Gemini); George Washington (Pisces) arrived onthe 22nd of February; Abraham Lincoln (Aquarius) checked in on Feb.12. However, our current president, Barack Obama, thrilledastrologers everywhere by being born on Aug. 4, a true Leo. See?Astrology can predict a president! Sort of.

But now, what the heck are we supposed to do with all thoseself-imposed opinions of our personalities that we've carried aboutwith us for years? I mean, chances are your birth sign has changed,folks, and all those horoscopes you've invested years in readingwere – yep – meant for other people!

Yet this travesty didn't come along just yesterday. The earth'sbit of, well ... wobbliness, was discovered about 280 B.C. byastronomer Aristarchus of Samos. Historical note: Aristarchus name"coincidentally" contains the word "star," qualifying him as theexpert of his generation. And our planet's unstable old axis hasshifted so much during the past 2,000 years, horoscopes and theirapplicable astrological signs are an entire month off!

So what now, you ask? Well, if you're one of those unfortunatesouls who tattooed your (or your significant other's) astrologicalsign to your backside, I have two words for you: laser surgery.

My own Daughter No. 2 weighed in on this unfortunateastrological situation on her blog recently. Her three decades ofbeing a dual-natured Gemini came screeching to a halt when the newsigns plopped her backward into Taurus, the bull. Her assessment ofthe situation?

"In a nutshell, I am a Taurus now ... I'm too annoyed to readabout what it means to be a Taurus. Don't get me wrong, I'm not allinto astrology but when you go from happy to moody in 3.2 seconds,it's awesome to have something to blame it on that is COMPLETELYoutside my control. See, I used to be a Gemini and all you need toknow is they have multiple personalities and something can set themoff like you wouldn't believe. They also like to shop A LOT. Andeat yummy food. They can't help it, you see, because that's howthey were born ..."

Her thoughtful explanation of this catastrophe is veryscientific so follow closely here: "Its due to stuff moving in thesky or something."

Yep, sounds like we are going to need Zodiac Rehab to adjust toour new personalities. Except our personalities have been aroundfor centuries, at least, even if it was the next astrological signover. But what about those poor unfortunates cast into the NEW (the13th) astrological sign, Ophiuchus? I haven't a clue how topronounce this word except it reads like a very bad sneeze wouldsound. Weirder still is there are only 19 days allotted to the newsign. What's up with that?

And what of the character of an Ophiuchus (given the creepy iconof "Serpent Holder")? Well. As the "International Business Times"helpfully reports, "your personality traits are in line with, well,your existing personality traits." Yeah, no. This is SO way over myhead.

But here's alarming information: Under the old signs, I beganlife as an Aquarius. I was happy being an Aquarius. And now I'meither Capricorn or Sagittarius; my birthday falls into bothcategories according to the chart. So I need to call my daughter.About that multiple personality thing? Looks like I've got it inspades.

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